


Midnight Movie Madness

by killajokejosie



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff, M/M, a few spoilers for some popular movies, grounded, house arrest, how to talk about Benedict Cumberbatch, mentions of way too many weird movies, movies - Freeform, umm...do you know that one movie with the detective and the doctor, white vinegar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 19:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killajokejosie/pseuds/killajokejosie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock got in trouble, so he is bound to be bored for a while. John grabs a stack of DVDs. What follows is just random.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Movie Madness

**Author's Note:**

> Title...not important, it really didn't take place at midnight.

"This coffee smells weird," John mumbled as he brought the cup to his mouth. He was just waking up, he wasn't all there yet.

Sherlock whipped around. "That is not coffee and I would highly suggest that you do not actually drink it."

John put the cup down slowly. "Um...what is it then?"

"Vinegar, a very inexpensive merlot, and maybe just a tiny hint of that floral scented dish detergent you purchased last week,"

"Why, Sherlock? And please do have a somewhat reasonable explanation."

"I was testing to find out which one would clean the coffee pot the best,"

John looked over at the obnoxiously red appliance Mycroft had gifted to them for some unknown reason. Sherlock had never even used the damn thing and now he was trying to properly clean it. This was a bit odd.

"White vinegar is the answer to the question, but where did you get the idea to do this?"

"Ah. White vinegar. Makes perfect sense, thought the smell is rather unplesant." Sherlock wrote the words on a small piece of paper and placed it beside the red monstrosity. "A woman on a talk show said it. I thought she was wrong."

"Oh, I see. That is...wow. Okay, what happened to the stack of DVDs I picked up for you?"

Sherlock glanced over at the rather large stack of movies sitting on his desk. He had skimmed through the titles and decided that none of them were worth his time. He would have preferred to be on a case, or dead. Well, maybe not dead.

"All of the movies are dull. I have no use for them. Completely pointless."

John rolled his eyes. It was completely pointless. Not the movies, however, but reasoning with his difficult boyfriend. Still, he was going to try. "You do realise that you are grounded for SIX weeks, right? It would have been longer had it not been for your brother. Now, the way I see it, you have two options: watch the DVDs or stare at the wall. It has only been two days, Sherlock, please do not drive me to drink."

"It isn't my fault, if you must know,"

"Oh yes! It isn't your fault that you finally gave in to your innermost desires and punched Anderson in the face. Not your fault at all."

"It really wasn't. If he would not have pushed me past my 'breaking point', as Lestrade called it, it would not have been an issue."

"Sure, we will go with that. You should still watch the movies or something."

Sherlock let his body drop into his chair like a body bag full of human parts. "Booring! Predictable!"

"Okay," John was almost at wits end. He needed to get creative to keep Sherlock in line. He threw the pile of movies in his lap. It was go time. "If they are all so boring, tell me about them? If they are so bloody predictable, tell me the plot just by the front cover? Do it."

Sherlock arched an eyebrow. "Why on earth would I do that? Most of these are crummy or American?"

"Not all of them," John mumbled. "If you can get at least eight out of the twelve right I will do that little thing you like so much,"

Sherlock rummaged through the cases. He had only seen three of them, but that didn't mean he wouldn't succeed at this less than challenging game. "You are on,"

"First:  _The Hunger Games,_ "

"Fight to the death involved?" 

"Yup,"

"Alright, young men and women fight to the death in order to get food and wealth, but one, I imagine the young woman on the cover with the bow and arrow, rebels against the system which results in uproar."

"That's fair enough. Good. Second:  _Star Trek: Into Darkness._ "

"You must be joking. That film has that insufferable actor with the name that sounds like a style in which someone would cook eggs." Sherlock protested. 

"I don't know about him being insufferable, Sherlock. I happen to like him. He is really attractive and a great actor. He has amazing eyes."

Sherlock scrunched up his nose. "Eww. I lied. You are insufferable." 

"Just tell me what the film is about, babe,"

"Heroes on top, villian on the bottom. I suspect that it is about mind games. The villain is physical, but also very psychological. There is also an additional villain, perhaps someone that they trust. The starship blows up and people die, then the ship is put back together again. Classic J.J Abrams. Boring. Next."

"Third: Warm Bodies,"

"No,"

"No?"

"I refuse to analyze that one based on the fact that there is a zombie in a red hood on the cover,"

"I'll take that as a pass. Fourth: Dark Shadows."

"Yawn. Dark Shadows is obviously based on the televison series by the same name. Vampires, witches, and werewolves. The main Vampire is from a wealthy family that is no longer so wealthy. He tries to fix that and get closer to his remaining relatives while battling his arch nemesis, a woman."

"Hmm. Five: Velvet Goldmine."

"A colorful and exaggerated parody of David Bowie's life laced with way too many quotes from Oscar Wilde."

"Sure. Six: Fly Away Home."

"How to get geese to fly south for the Winter from Canada?"

"Seven: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter,"

"Pass. Absolutely not."

"Eight: Griff The Invisible."

"Film is a strange example of how some people have big 'hearts' and 'heroic' attitudes, despite the fact that these people are otherwise suffering from countless numbers of mental disorders. No one is a superhero. Griff is not Inivisible."

"Nine: Brokeback Mountain."

"A story about homosexual cowboys. I bet it is supposed to be sad by the color scheme. Oh well, moving on."

"Ten,"

"No, stop," Sherlock held out a hand to signal his lover while his eyes became fixated on the cover of a particular DVD.

"You don't want to continue our little game? I kind of wanted to do that thing to you."

"I want to watch this one,"

John's jaw dropped. He could not believe the words that he had heard come out of Sherlock's mouth. He had to wonder which movie had actually sparked an interest in the man. 

"Are you serious?"

"I am,"

"Which one did you pick?"

Sherlock examined the DVD case further. "The one about the Victorian detective and his doctor companion. They solve crimes together because the police is clearly not able to by themselves since they are so inept. From the cover I deduce the detective is superior in intellect and completely brilliant, but the doctor is a fool. The duo battle a strong and powerful adversary, and Irish man?"

John burst out laughing. No words, at least none that would have been coherent, were going to come out so he didn't even bother.

"Why are you laughing?"

John grabbed the DVD and began reading the back of it. "It is a completely ridiculous premise,"

"You picked them out, not me. I cannot leave the house, remember?" 

He leaned forward and kissed Sherlock on the forehead. "The doctor isn't a fool, the detective is. Essentially, the doctor is the detective's babysitter. Without the doctor, that detective would be in jail, or dead, or still dead anyways."

"Hardly a possibility. The detective is a genius."

"Just like you?"

"One could only hope,"

"Then my point has been made," John was certain that this was just the start. Eventually, it would be over and Sherlock would be complaining about how bored he was. Damn ankle bracelets.

"How about we just go to the bedroom and you can do that wonderful thing that I like?" 

"Much better, let's go," 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The movie covers might be different in other places, but I based them off of the ones that I had off hand. Sorry. I'm american, I'm bored, and I have no beta. Hope it was somewhat enjoyable.


End file.
